I Have Seen the Future

Way back in the 1970s and early 80s there was a television programme, possibly called 'Tomorrow, Today', that projected how the next century would unfold as all the wonderful new discoveries and inventions would change the way we lived. It all seemed more science fiction than science as we viewed it on our black and white television, on the one available channel. Much of it also seemed preposterous, unnecessary even- why would anyone want to see the person they were talking to on the telephone? How safe would those jet backpacks really be?

Of course it was all conjecture as to how these fancy new-fangled 'electronics' and the like would actually look in practice, but there was one thing was very clear. Workplaces would change radically as automation replaced workers in industry and farming. Luckily, we were well prepared for the coming fall in demands on us as a workforce, and what governments all over the world would do was introduce much shorter working weeks to ensure work for all. We would all have to learn how to fill our much longer leisure hours as we all enjoyed the prosperity of our bright, new future. 

This sounded just splendid to me, and I set about preparing to embrace that future. I honed my skills of lethargy and sloth. It was a least I could do as a socially responsible, forward thinking citizen. I have been badly let down. Not only do I not have a hover car, I have a four day weekend mindset stuck in a two day weekend reality. 

What's That You Say?

I was a bright and precocious toddler, and apparently had a smattering of endearing french phrases to drop into conversation that my older brother had taught me. He was learning French at High School because it was an important world language and would be very useful in later life.

I have no recall of this, but at the age of nine was placed into some strange educational experiment of an extension class where the teacher taught us Spanish because it was an important world language and would be very useful in later life.

When I got to Intermediate there was lovely old lady (the mad sort with a bun, flowing clothes and level of eccentricity that I aspire to myself one day) who passionately advocated the learning of Esperanto. This was a made up language that would cross international and cultural boundaries and become a world language that would be very useful in later life.

I progressed on to High School where I too began to learn French. Sadly none of the promise I had shown as a toddler was any longer present and after two years, and a dismal 14% in the final exam, I thankfully dropped it. My father lamented that I had not had the opportunity to learn Latin as my siblings before me had, because this had been a very important world language and would have been very handy in later life.

Not all my friends joined me in those dismal French classes. They had taken the newly introduced option of Japanese, because this was a very important world language and would be very useful in later life.

In my early teaching days, one of the children's mothers was setting up the German classes at the local college. This was because it was a very important world language and would be very useful in later life. I actually am quite strong in many phrases in German, thanks to childhood spent with ongoing repeats of Hogan's Heroes.

Now, I sit with my class for our weekly Mandarin lesson, because it is a very important world language and will be very useful in later life. It is certainly a good mental exercise and lots of fun, but it is a weekly reminder of my total inability to learn languages. The children hear the subtleties that are quite lost on me, and no matter how hard I try I'm always the first one out in Simon Says, Mandarin style. I get so excited when I actually recognise the word that my hand is on my nose, ear or head before I have processed the fact the Simon didn't explicitly say to put it there.

Luckily, I'm still going strong in English, and I'm pretty sure it's an important world language and will be useful in later life.